“I’m not a serious artist.”

There. I said it.

Am I serious about creating? Yes.

Am I serious about teaching other people how to embrace their creativity? Hell to the YES.

Am I serious about sharing Joy, Positivity, and Inspiration? OH my….a big, bold YES!

But I’m not serious.

It took me a long time to realize that my art is MY art. I create for me. I adore color..so I use as much as possible. I experiment and I play and I have a good time.

Until the days when I don’t.

And there are many.

Days when the clouds of doubt roll in and I lose my shit.

I spent years in art school and was told that I wasn’t good enough to “make it”.

As a result I spent a lot of time in the business world and although it made me a bunch of money and allowed me to take (sooooo many) trips, it made my soul dry up.

So I went back to school and I became a teacher. And I BLOSSOMED.

I adored sharing my love of art and all the materials that were out in the world just waiting to be played with!

I got excited when one of my students would have an aha moment in class or would come back and tell me that they decided to pursue art or that in some way I had showed them that art was indeed special…and not just for a chosen few.

Art is for everyone.

Even if its not serious art…

When I say Serious…I mean art that looks real. You know, the art that everyone oohs and aah about in a museum.

This painting by David Hockney changed my perspective years ago during a teacher’s summer program at Massachusetts College of Art.

I found myself searching for it the other day as I stood frustrated at my easel.

David Hockney’s style is bold and full of color…something that when I first saw, I was amazed at. You can tell what things are…but there is a whimsy to this painting. I found that magical. Up until I discovered him, I thought that only the dead guys with their shading and hyper-realism could end up in a museum. But there he was…in all his colorful, vibrant glory. I think this painting came to mind yesterday because I needed to be reminded that we all need to follow our own road, so to speak…

(Yes, I realize there is a road in the painting! HA!)

I was frustrated the other day because I found myself painting this.

Oliver the Joy bird and flowers.

It started like this the day before…..BLUES.

And soon went here….

A series of three…I like to work like that. When one is drying, I hop around.

I was playing with shape and pattern…as always. As an intuitive painter, I never plan anything out…but I was thinking abstractly and trying to push my process abstractly.

I ended up with what my daughter told me “looked like Sadness from the Disney movie exploding onto the canvas…but pretty.”

Not what I was hoping for, even in the “process stage”.

I wish I could have taken a picture of what happened next…but suffice it to say…all the colors got a chance to dance at the party.

And I ended up here.

A bird and flowers.

Something that I could have drawn and painted EASILY…instead of torturing myself through layers and layers of self doubt.

But that my dears, is part of the Intuitive Painting Process.

The cycle goes like this:

Except when I got to 6..I felt like WHAT???????

And then I sat back and realized that my adventure at the easel just taught me a huge lesson.

Don’t fight who you are.

Embrace yourself for what you bring to the world.

You can do all the things other people do, but they won’t fill you up. They won’t make your soul happy. They won’t make you feel alive.

And I realize that I tell this to anyone who will listen to me, ALL THE TIME.

My art is me.

Is it serious, no…but it is seriously ME.

Colorful, bright, vibrant..full of joy.