The past few weeks have been filled with SO many beautiful creative moments. SO many things that I have worked so hard for…have come into being.
I’ve created, formatted and published an inspiration deck.
I’ve taken my own paintings and recreated them as patterns and now offer them on all sorts of items.
I’ve honored my cartoon character, Dharma Joy by formatting her happy, cheerful, inspirational face and friends on all sorts of fun items for both you and your home.
I’ve also had people unsubscribe from my Facebook page, my mailing list and my Instagram.
Initially, it hurt.
I couldn’t understand why the very people that were once interested in what I was doing, had asked for those items to be created or had supported me as I walked thru my creative journey, wouldn’t be happy for me.
In response, I spiraled deep down into the place that can only be known as where the Ego lives. A place where all your fears and weaknesses live. Instead of focusing on all the good I had been working towards and all the excitement I was feeling…I spiraled into doubt and insecurity.
Hearing imaginary comments in my head…”I’ve had enough.” “Not interested.” “Done with her.” and the worse one “Who does she think she is?”
I felt like apologizing. For taking up too much space. For tooting my horn as people used to say years ago. For being a show off.
Instead of thinking about what my INITIAL INTENTIONS were…sharing my heart, trying to show people that THEY can do it too…that they can create their dreams if they work hard and GO FOR IT. That they can LEARN how to do anything, if they put their minds to it. That they can be TEACHABLE, even if it is an area that they feel insecure about…for me, that’s photoshop for sure.
That faith and trust will get you SO far if you hold hands with The Universe and be in a relationship of CO-CREATION.
Instead of focusing on all the love-filled reasons I had behind creating those things…I felt embarrassed.
I had been working on each and every one of those projects for a long time. After months of quiet time and reflection and lots of learning and hard work, each one blossomed in its own way in its own perfect timing…which JUST happened to be what society would see as ALL AT THE SAME TIME.
Like a garden of flowers that blooms overnight…or so we think. We don’t see all the planting, watering, love and care the gardener gives to that garden. We only see the end product at the farm stand.
And then I realized something, its not about me. And I need to stop feeling embarrassed for doing what I love to do.
I’m a love-filled human being that will go to the ends of the earth to try and make someone feel good. A human who will draw, doodle and color her way thru the day, hoping it will bring a smile to someones face. I give away tons of stuff…for free. I do a lot of things behind the scenes that no one ever hears about…because my life is one of service and compassion. I am incredibly grateful and blessed that each and every day I get to do what I love.
But I am ALSO running a BUSINESS.
I am a WOMAN running a business trying to support other women.
I am a MOM running a business trying to show my girls that they can do anything that they set their mind to.
This here is a BUSINESS and for a business to thrive, I need to stop apologizing and get out of my head. I need to tell myself everything that I tell everyone else.
SHINE YOUR LIGHT.
There is only ONE YOU…and don’t be SORRY for being that beautiful soul that you are.
Whatever it is that you dream of doing, go make it happen.
Some people will love you, some people won’t want to hear about it…but keep being YOU.
Its not about them. This is YOUR glorious, beautiful life. Go live it.
If you are interested in purchasing the Dharma Joy Deck, You can go here
If you are interested in checking out my designs on things like leggings, etc, You can go here
If you need more color and happiness in your life..You can go here